Here is my stab at a sort of "job description" for a leader. Actually, it is the job description for every husband and father (since they are leaders). It isn't exhaustive, but it is a fundamental start, I think.
A leader follows the Lord Jesus. He is not codependent on the whims, feelings, or relative responsiveness of others. He does not follow others around, hoping to receive a favorable reply, like a puppy dog. He sets his eyes straight ahead on what the Lord calls him to. He goes to his knees, he takes up his cross, and he dies to self as he follows his Master. He follows and trusts, no matter what happens around him. He trusts the Lord for both the results and for the supply to do what he must do. He is humble, quick to confess his sins, quick to forgive those who seek it from him, quick to make peace whenever possible, and honest. He is a man of integrity.
He loves his wife. He cherishes her. He lifts her up and beautifies her. He lets her know she is prized. He thinks of her, holds her, makes time for her, and gives his body to her. He dies for her and protects her. He does not focus on her wrongs, but he suffers patiently and prayerfully when she rebels or strays.
He loves and enjoys his children. He teaches them about the Lord, and he teaches them to honor and obey him and his wife.
A leader is teachable. He does not seek to promote himself above others, but he is quick to serve.