Sunday, August 17, 2014

Shutting Out

Sometimes, I hate the world.  The unquantifiable grief and pain I feel for the things I have experienced in the past 15 years, alone, tempts me and calls me to a watery grave of isolation and burial -preferring to say, "@#$ you!" to the world, to shut myself out and refuse their entrance, even while knowing that it means a life of punishment and isolation and loneliness for me.  And it takes more than what it is in me to convince me to turn back and abandon my post in the tower of isolation.  It takes Christ in me.  It takes someone calling me forward.  It takes Christ in me calling me out and showing me how he bore with the world and did not shut it out.  It is there, with Him, that I see it is the smallest of people who matter most... who are most worthy of my heart and my light.  They don't live with all of the pretense of the world.  Children, the poor, the broken, etc.

But there is more.  While there are people out there who are dull and callous and who live on the pretenses of the world, there are also those out there who will receive the light and love I have.  There are those who see it and value it.  When I shut myself out from the world, I shut myself out from them.  And I lose out on love.  I lose out on them.

The best thing you can do for someone?  Receive their love and their pain.  You want to help someone rise from the ashes?  Love them but receive what they offer you, as well.  Receive the little pieces they give.

1 comment:

Me :D said...

This recent post has brought me to tears. Thankful you are not shutting yourself out from the darkness you have endured, but letting yourself be a light that this world needs. I pray you continually choose to be open and receive the love others have for you and want you to receive.