Skip to main content

The Drug of Being Offended

Being offended is the new pastime, but it doesn't have to be.  Long before it became cool on social media to be offended, I took up the sport of holding onto offense.  I've been a true pioneer in the art of brooding, a regular Tom Brady, a man ahead of his time, and I know I'm not alone in that.  But holding onto offense is like the worst kind of sport you can play.  The only ones involved in this game are you and those unwilling participants within the radius of the steam fuming out of your nostrils.  Any spectators who get close enough to watch are more like witnesses of a slow train-wreck.  Plus, there's no amazing come-back story where the score gets flipped in overtime and your team, the "good guys", win.  There are no wrongs righted in the making of this movie, and there's no happy ending to it. The only thing that happens, in our cosmic protest, is we hurt ourselves and those closest to us.  

The offense game is addictive, though -I'll give it that.  It allows us to believe that the offenders on our growing list are our real problem, which gives us something as a bonus.  It provides safe cover for us to avoid things in us that we don't like... insecurity, fear, shame, and uncertainty about who we are, if we are loved, and if we can accomplish our goals.  At least for a moment, holding onto anger over our "raw deal" or how this or that person was belittling or insensitive or treated us unfairly makes us feel big instead of small.  It's like a drug, a moral booster shot, but the effects are temporary while the side effects are life threatening.  Don't get me wrong, people can be real jerks -and I'm one of them.  This isn't minimization. It's acknowledging that holding onto offense doesn't get back what we feel was taken from us and is a destructive exercise in carrying the bag for someone else's sin -real or imagined.  It doesn't get back what we feel has been taken from us.  Holding onto offense is refusing to believe that there is One who does see me, that there are better things to do with my time and energy, such as focusing on the good work He has for me to do in this world, and that even our offenders are people, too.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Crutch

It's interesting that one of the criticisms of non-religious folks is that we're using "religion" as a "crutch."  Years ago, I would have become defensive and argued at the idea, but today I happily admit that Jesus is like a crutch but so much more.  Why the change of heart? Often we're tempted to think that our spiritual walk with God is a lot like physical therapy for person recovering from a crippling injury.  When many of us first come to believe, we imagine we're like someone who just awakened from a horrible accident and received the diagnosis that our legs don't work.  We rely heavily on God, especially at first, like a recovering man would with crutches or a walker.  And we imagine that as we work our spiritual muscles, as we do our disciplines and try hard to be good people, as we do more spiritual therapy, we get stronger.  God lets us walk through some hard times too, perhaps, and that gives us the extra push to work out a little hard...
Post a Comment
Read more

Abandoned to the God who Brings Low

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart,     and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him,     and he will make straight your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6) If we were to compile a list of short Bible verses that encapsulate the life of the believer, this would surely make that list.  But this kind of total trust is not natural to us.  In some ways, the longer we walk on this earth, the better mechanisms we develop to try to handle the trials of life on our own.  Often, it is ironically our God-given strengths that we employ to this end.  But where we place our trust is what we ultimately look to as "god", even if that god is self.  In his Small Catechism, Luther said, "A god is that to which we look for all good and in which we find refuge in every time of need.  To have a god is nothing else than to trust and believe him with our whole heart."  For me, one of the biggest areas I struggle with trusting God i...
Post a Comment
Read more

Law and Gospel Distinction Example

Below is an example of how the proper distinction between Law and Gospel is both practical and pastoral.   Chesterton's quote "We fear men so much because we fear God so little.  One fear cures another," is true, for all I understand.  I remember reading a whole book on this subject called "When People are Big and God is Small."  I was desperate to find a solution to what I was painfully experiencing, which some had diagnosed (and which I self-diagnosed from reading too many internet articles) as "fear of man."   I remember as I began reading the book, I was excited.  Many things written in the book resonated with me, and I had some hope.  But as I approached the end of the book, my countenance and hope had fallen.  Why?  In retrospect, I believe it's because though I had hoped for a solution, something I can do to change this, to free myself, and the truth is that the book was long on diagnosis and very short on a useful prescripti...
Post a Comment
Read more